So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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