dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
