all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I could fuck to npr.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
