he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize