i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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