Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
