The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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