Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
