i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize