it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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