my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
