marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
