Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
