If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
