the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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