You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
