do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
