She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
