I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
