Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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