At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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