nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
