My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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