I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I skipped work to stalk him.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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