so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
