I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
