can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
