i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
