My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize