I bet he comes in French.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
