I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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