you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize