"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
As shirtless as possible
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
