benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
