weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
