the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
