i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
