He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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