Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
