My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
