We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is Oprah even human
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize