Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
