im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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