She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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