no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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