GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
