yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
