I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
