Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
