i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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