Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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