we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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