Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
