Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
