it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We are all done wearing pants today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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