He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He shit in the fireplace
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
