It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
